caffeinepig

The break is going to the end. The coming semester is gonna begin next Monday. It seems to me like another adventure waiting ahead for me to write the whole story.

I’ve been prepared for this moment.

Things come and go. Just do your best and let it be.

Conquer the fear and trust your inner instinct..

I bet, You can make it!!

Today, after the committee meeting, I finally "officially" become a doctoral candidate.

I finally achieve the stage of ABD, All-about-dissertation….

It's weird, thought. Where is my feeling of happiness??

Am I waiting for this moment for a long time???

I do not feel excited; even not feel happy at all, just a bit of relief…

The following ten days, I'm gonna to have a solitary retreat for my qualifying exam. 
After almost 7 month studying, those piles of articles have made me feel like vomiting, especially every time when I have to dig out articles for an answer or references ...
Gee...., can you imagine if someone feeds you the same kind of stuff every day  24 hours a day  for 7 months, even if you really feel sick of it? 

At this very moment, I feel just the same way!!

I did this quiz several days ago, and the result came out to be very interesting to me.

I feel restless recently. I can feel that my mind is agitated and getting impulsive. I can feel myself impatient and rush for everything. I even can feel it from my pace of walking. I cannot stop being anxious. My heart is beating so fast and heavily. All of the sudden, I seem to look everything and every people around me with hatred…
Gee… I need to stop myself doing this, hurting my mind and my soul… 

" Don’t let your feeling lead your mind !!! "

This line came across to my mind while I was try to mediate on the way backing home.

The weather report on TV has been predicting that today is going to have the first snow. I was thinking, “what nonsense is this? No way! It’s still too early to snow…” Last night, I intendedly opened the window to check out the weather outside in a way of measuring the moisture by a 15-story height from the ground. Yeah, No doubt! I live in a penthouse on campus. I always joke this to myself as a little compensation for this boring life here.

This morning, the weather from my widow looks….well, fine. Although sun doesn’t show up, the sky is bright enough to be claimed it as a fair day. Before I was about to dress up for school, I suspiciously got online to check the weather again. Still, it says “85% snow shower in the afternoon….” All right, I don’t want to get sick just because I don’t buy the modern technology of weather prediction. I decided to have a coat with me, just………in case.

Gee, I can’t believe of what I see. It is really snowing, though it is not snow flake but only snow ice, still, it’s snowing!! As I can see the white spot is getting larger and almost turning to be flake-like.  I can’t help but showing a bit of grinning on my face.  Am I expecting the coming of snow? I don’t know exactly. It is a kinda complicate question. I like snow, though. It makes the environment look romantic, especially during the holiday season. All streets and trees were decorated by sparking-twinkling lights against the background of white snow. I can wear several layers of clothes under my favorite heavy coat, no matter it is wool long coat or down-goose jacket.  With scarf and wool hot, I can wrap myself like a bear, joltily walking on the snow. I can also leave my trace of footprint, like Big Foot Harly. On the other hand, however, snowing day increases the difficulty and hazardousness of driving. And it makes me feel freezing and do not want to go outdoor. Then, like a vicious circle, as time goes by, I would become a couch potato, a big lazy bug keeping staying at home. So, it's not easy to assertively answer if I like snow.

Well, thinking back to those disliking points, it seems not too bad about being a lazy bug, doesn't it?
 I still like snow!!

在台灣的教師節，我在Yahoo E-Card 裡挑了一張教師卡給我碩士論文的指導教授─洪老師。
也不知道為什麼，其實有好多話想說。但在卡片裡到最後我只寫下了兩句話....
出國唸書到現在，唯一常常讓我想念的老師，就是洪老師。
常常想起在寫論文的那段期間，跟老師在電腦前面一同研究數據，一同problem solving...在車上跟老師討論論文進度，學術專業。
老師的外表看起來很嚴肅，但是其實洪老師是個心思細膩又浪漫的學者。對我來說，甚至是其他同學，大家都知道洪老師精通天文地理、中醫藥學、中英古詩、16種語言、還有聲樂。洪老師是個天才！

看到朋友的這篇網誌，覺的心有同感......


最近又接觸到真多有關於崇洋媚外的議題..
在美國呆了超過5年..

這篇是補寫9月7號那天，哥哥的寶寶來到了這個世界

當天好巧，我恰巧打電話回家，難得是爸爸接電話。 平常都是老媽大人接，等到她說的差不多時，時間已經過了一大半。老爸根本沒有機會說半句話。所以那天就跟他小聊了一下...

剛好，老媽大人打手機給老爸。我要老爸別掛電話，我可以等一下

That I got to see this video clip was from one of my friend in Canada. He feels this clip interesting since he is a Canadian-born-Chinese. This video clip is like the reverse of what he and his brother went through growing up.

About the video clip:

Charlotte MacInnis, an American girl who has embraced and adopted Chinese culture and tradition as her own.
Meanwhile, she is beloved by the Chinese people, and they have accepted her as a Chinese, not a foreigner. 

讀到一篇有趣的文章

男生女生大不同

凡是教過書的老師都知道，男生的空間能力比女生好，女生的語言能力比男生好，如果給男女生共看一張地圖，地圖朝北而要去的目的地朝南時，男生可以不翻轉地圖便把該走的路線劃出，女生大部分需要把地圖轉到要去的方向，但是一旦地圖轉過來了，女生做的跟男生一樣的好。也就是說男女空間能力上的差別在空間旋轉上，男生較易在腦海中將地圖方向與目標方向旋轉成一致性，從而畫出路線。另一個男生比女生佔優勢的是visualization，即把一張紙摺成某個形狀後，在此形狀上打個洞，請學生想像打開復原成一張紙時，這個洞應該在紙的那些部位，實驗發現男生在這個作業上做的比女生好，男生比較容易依二度空間的藍圖做出三度空間的實物，女生較差，但是女生的語文能力比男生好，溝通能力強，這個差別在嬰兒一出生時就看到了，女嬰比男嬰更喜歡注視大人的臉，女生比較伶俐，她們比男生先學會認字，語言的建構與文法也學得好，在小學階段，班長多半是女生，因為說話清楚，表達流利，這個現象要到青春期之後，才會換過來，國中時，班長就比較可能是男生了。女生對跟人際關係有關的訊息都比較敏感，如別人臉上的表情、說話聲音中隱藏的不悅，細微的肢體動作，口吃與失讀症等語言方面的問題都是男生比女生嚴重。

在一個禮拜就要開學了
壓力又不知不覺的來了

這幾個禮拜以來，都在朝自己的進度念paper
當然不是每天都很有效率的

這長久一陣子，我發覺自己的的心變的小小的。

因為討厭、憎恨「討厭自己的人」， 不知不覺自己好像也變的跟他們沒有兩樣。

「我以前不是這樣的！」我的白色天使站在我的左肩上這樣跟我吶喊著...

想起了朋友跟我說的， 「敵人，是你修行上最好的人。因為敵人， 使你看到你自己」

記得蘇東坡與印光大師的小故事嗎？

「...   ...   ...」
「By law, I announce you are husband and wife.」
「Now, you may kiss the bride... ...」

從那一刻開始，我們開始了生命的另一個階段。

不過，現在這還是我們兩個共同的秘密。

今天
是重要的一天....

這首歌很適合將要步入禮堂的情侶 ....


今天你要嫁給我    by David Tao

一個生日又要過去了
時間真的過得很快
彷彿去年的生日才剛過完

今年的生日

這學期已經將近尾聲了
除了忙著寫期末報告外
好像就沒有別的事...   （不要自欺欺人了....）

去舊金山參加了將近5天的conference，不管是在學術、精神上收穫很多。另一方面，也滿足了長期嚐膩了粗茶淡飯的味覺。

這5天的會議，除了早上我在一連串的演講中打瞌睡外，想不到連看別人poster 也覺得昏昏欲睡。我開始懷疑自己是不是真的喜歡做研究...